Facebook friends, electronic pets, and the disconnect from real relationships…

Ah. Sounds like the title of some sociology paper, doesn’t it? I am not writing a paper—just ranting about yet another annoyance in my everyday life.
I really dislike Facebook. It gives a false sense of popularity (He has 250 friends on his Facebook page!) It allows you to be a virtual peeping Tom--you can view all kinds of photos of a person’s ‘private’ life. And my personal favorite—you can keep up to date on someone’s daily activities without actually having to talk to them.
No wonder why people have hundreds of ‘friends’ on their pages—it doesn’t take any real work to know that many people. It requires far less time—to have a real friend, you would actually have to go places with them, talk to them, and be alone with them. It’s so easy to simply skim the surface when you know many eyes will be reading the words you share on someone’s Facebook wall. It is faster—and less demanding—to reply to a posting on a person’s status with some goofy comment than it is to actually have coffee with them for 2 hours. With Facebook, you can reply to a Facebook page status while you’re getting your coffee and chatting on your cell phone—all at the same time.

And then there are the fake pets that people are snapping up this holiday season. The Zhu Zhu Pet gives a kid the chance to have her own pet hamster—it plays, it makes noises, and it’s cute. Yep, her own pet, except for the fact that it’s not real. You don’t have to worry about feeding your Zhu Zhu Pet, and there is none of that messy cage cleaning. You don’t have to listen to the annoying clicking of the water bottle all night, or that dreadful wheel that all real hamsters love so much. You don’t even have to worry about handling it gently, or what you will do when it dies—as all real pets do. It’s the best of both worlds—a neat furry toy (isn’t that what pets are, after all?) without all the responsibility and expense. And when you’re bored of it, and don’t want it anymore, you can through it away or donate it to the thrift store (then you can feel good about helping the needy).

So what do I find so objectionable about virtual friends and electronic pets? They are not real. They are all the fun parts of a friendship and pet ownership, without the real work, emotional investment, or difficult things that come with an actual relationship. When I have a friend in the non-virtual world, I have to make time for them. I can’t just text them while I am with other people or doing something I would ‘rather’ do. I have to take time out of my day to be with them, or catch them up—personally—by phone or email. I can’t just swap comments back and forth and leave it at that. And sometimes we argue. Sometimes I say weird things and have to apologize. Yes, I suppose that happens on Facebook too, but it is different when you have to look someone in the eyes, or even hear the disappointment in their voice when you’re talking to them. And while I love being a pet parent, it takes work. It takes sacrifice—and I learned that as a kid with my first real pet, not a stuffed animal. I learned about cleaning up after my pet, feeding them, and sadly, about loss when that animal died. I learned to love again with the next pet, and about loss when that pet also died. And as an adult, I have learned about putting the needs of my pets first—it would be nice to have certain luxuries, but I have animals to feed, take to the vet, and buy supplies and toys for. Sometimes I even have to pay a sitter to take care of them. I am not complaining—I am simply arguing that a real relationship—whether it’s with another person, an animal, or even the planet itself, takes work, sacrifice, and often involves pain. But the benefits are bountiful.
By the way, if I get one more virtual tree to "plant", I might lose my mind.