In the Christian tradition, there is a discipline called "apologetics", which is the defense of a position, or practice. In the Quaker world, Barclay's Apology remains one of the best examples of such a defense. Today, I offer my own apology, or defense, of marriage equality.
A favorite expression of mine is "talking out of both sides of his mouth". I can think of no better example of such an act than the marriage debate. On the one hand, marriage is viewed as sacred, different, and special. To wit: "marriage holds a unique place [in our society]. It's a closer, deeper, more intimate bond than any other (Dr. Robin L. Smith). I agree. On the other side of the argument (often offered by the very people who recognize the special union that is called "marriage"), is the 'seperate but equal' civil union. A union that is LIKE a marriage, but is so clearly NOT A MARRIAGE. We have all heard the arguments as to why this separation is "necessary", so I'll not repeat them here. Instead, I offer my thoughts on marriage, and why anything less than marriage is in fact, not a marriage.
Marriage is different. It is more than simply living together and viewing eachother as spouses. It is more than sharing the bills, combining belongings, and planning for a future. I say this not to insult those who do those very things outside of marriage, but to make the point that a marriage is more than the gears that power a relationship. Marriage is a legal contract, it costs a lot to get into, and (usually) a lot more to get out. It comes
with tax benefits, societal benefits, and a level of respect that no dating or civil union can ever command. It requires an incredible amount of commitment. Marriage is celebrated and imagined. No child spends years dreaming of their civil union at the courthouse--instead, they dream of a beautiful location, the cake, what song they will dance to with their one true love. Marriage entitles one to call their beloved by a cherished name--husband or wife. Having the legal right to (one day) call my girlfriend my WIFE is leagues above calling her my partner. On a less lofty level, being married gives couples access to things like decision making, company benefits, and even the right to adopt a child.
Marriage is unique. It is special. It requires more of us and offers incredible returns. It is unlike any other type of relationship we will enter
into. To deny access to such a union is to deny gay couples the chance to live in the most unique, and sacred, relationship one can have with another human.
