I've spent the better part of this year trying to discover my purpose for this life. I studied for and took the law school admission test. I applied to the police department. I started, then promptly dropped out of, paralegal school. It's been a long process. I have searched, I have pondered, and I have sought council from those wiser than me. But no answers. Here I am, still running a pet sitting business, making muffins for my wife to take to work, walking my dog, napping with the cats. Another holiday season is upon us and here I am, delivering gifts to our regular clients like I do every year.
I went to a meeting the other day, and I thought, well, maybe THIS will be my purpose--maybe I am here to take part in this important work. But then another thought came along: this time last year, I could not have envisioned myself in this place, doing some of the work I currently do. Let me explain. Much of my free time is focused on quality of life issues for police officers and their families. A year ago, I would not have imagined that would be the focus of my non-work life passions. And who knows where it will lead. Maybe somewhere, maybe nowhere. But I have decided that is OK. In fact, I have decided that it is OK to have no grander purpose than to make the most of each day that I have. I am going to try to stop directing the current of my life, and instead jump in the boat and drift wherever life wants to take me. I know not what lies ahead, and that will have to be OK. I have to trust that things will work out, that there is a reason for my being here, and that reason may not be wrapped up in my career. I read in a devotional recently that to expect that you are here for great things is a bit arrogant. It dismisses the importance of the many little things that we are good at and appreciated for. I am going to let the universe take me where it wants, and make the most of each stop on my journey with J.
