A question of equality…

I have a concern about equality. It pertains to the use of the titles ‘Mrs.’ and ‘Mr.’ It came up when I read a passage in a book about proper social etiquette (written by none other than Miss Manners…)—a woman had written a letter stating that she was appalled that younger women were addressing her mother by her first name. One example she gave involved nurses at her mother’s assisted living center—they were calling her mother by her first name, even though they were 50 or 60 years her junior. Miss Manners found the casual first-name use appalling as well, and downright disrespectful. In her view, first names were to be reserved for intimates only. This social protocol presents a quandary for Quakers. We have a history of leaving out titles when speaking to others, as titles differentiate people, making the relationship inherently unequal. You would never address a Quaker professor as “Dr.”, or even “Mr.”. You’d simply say “Joe” or “Jane”, as the case may be. This goes for all titles and positions. Coming from that perspective, how then am I to address others “properly”? Do I reserve my perceived casualness for other Quakers, and defer to standard rules of etiquette when in the real world?
One may argue that the usage of the prefix ’Mr.’ and such doesn’t really imply unequal status between the individuals, but merely shows respect. However, respect based upon age alone is does not render the relationship equal, and moreover, one can respect another without being less than them. Here’s an example, which involves class status:
I was watching yet another obnoxious show, and this episode featured several wealthy women gathered for a dinner party in of the women’s homes. The ‘lady of the house’ introduced her maid (a demeaning title, I would argue) to her guests as say, “Maria”. Of course, the maid was a minority woman, much older than her young, white boss. Any way, the host then introduced her guests to Maria by addressing them formally: “Maria, this is Mrs. Jones, Miss Simpson, …”. You get the idea. So, I would argue that using titles of any kind always implies inequality—whether in social status, age, profession, or gender. It really doesn’t matter what the reason for the title is. Unfortunately, my desire to be inclusive is seen as rude and disrespectful…